Andy Friedman

I saw him play tonight at Southpaw.  He is possibly one of the sexist people I have ever encountered.  He is also smart and a good musician. During the show when he sang his song “Taken Man” about having a wife and a baby, he was actually coming on to me.  He’s just weird like that.  I know it.  I mean, I know him.

Rachael Ray

I have decided I really like Rachael Ray.  I do.  I am not afraid to tell you that.  She makes good meals and she seems like a nice person.  I watched the THS about her and she grew up cooking in restaurants with her family.  That is nice.

Do you like her? VOTE BELOW.  I expect you to VOTE.  I hate people that don’t vote.

NEW THING: A POLL FOR YOU TO TAKE

Clever umbrella trick

Today I decided to go get boxes to pack up my books.  I am shipping them to my parents.  I am removing clutter from my life.  It is the most fantastic thing ever.

I went to Pathmark to get boxes but the man there said the only boxes they had were meat boxes and that is obviously DISGUSTING.  (on a sidenote, someone was buying two chickens yesterday at the co-op and I had to TOUCH THEM to scan them into the register.  I was so grossed out that I had to go WASH MY HANDS, to the dismay of the icky cashier next to me.  He is too stupid to know my name, so I do not feel bad writing about him.)

Then I went to my co-op and got boxes.  All of the boxes are really yuppie: “good sense sandwich bags,” “seventh generation cleaner,” “natural value waxed paper bags.”  I don’t know why I feel the need to put those in quotes–maybe I miss writing college papers. NOT.  I am never going to write college papers again.  I am a good writer and I do not like to write essays.  ESSAYS SUCK.  If essays were an ice cream flavor, they’d be pralines and dick.

I didn’t want to get the boxes wet because of a conversation I had with my dad about not mailing things in the rain.  I stuck my umbrella down my shirt so I could hold the boxes with two hands.  I now realize I might have looked kind of crazy.  When I walked into the hardware store, the umbrella got stuck in the door and I dropped the boxes.  YAY!

Children’s Book not yet titled—pictures to be drawn by CCCourtney

The problem with you is the hole in the toe of your shoe.

The problem with you is the slurping sound you make when you drink milk.

The problem with you is that you’re too scared to tell on Mark when he takes your peanut butter cookies.

The problem with you is your ugly cat that never wants to play.

The problem with you is that you eat your strawberry ice cream so fast you get a headache.

The problem with you is that you let your mom kiss you good bye when you get on the bus.

The problem with you is that you don’t want to talk about anything but baseball.

The problem with you is that you never want to play in the mud after it rains.

But I think that’s the problem with me too.

Interesting food I purchased today at the Park Slope Food Co-op

1. a coconut.  I used a chef’s knife to open it with ML, and like the papparazzi she is, she took photos of me with her huge camera.

2. Chinese dumplings that were MACRO and VEGAN–whatever that means

3. a mint chocolate bar that was UNDER TWO DOLLARS

4. coconut milk ice cream bars

5. vegan chocolate chip cookies

6. grapes—I KNOW–this was a totally strange purchase–I do not know what I was thinking

7. apples called STAYMAN WINESAP–which kind of sounds like, “stay man, there’s wine and that sap”

8. Veggie Booty

9. organic Goldfish–not really made by Pepperidge Farm, but that would be kind of amusing

Today when I was ringing people up at the co-op, these TOTALLY INANE couple (that I could tell was inane before they came with their groceries), tried to dispute their bill with me.  SERIOUSLY, what morons.  It’s like, if you are buying like 8 bags of groceries, it might be over 300 dollars.  THINK ABOUT IT.  IDIOTS.  I HATE THEM.  Some people who shop at the co-op act like they have never been to a store in their lives.  It might be true.  NY is full of rich assholes.

Mary Liz is getting tired of my computer addiction.

Sock Monkeys I made

Doc and Lissa

Sock monkey I made for my sister

Monkey Family--artists (Cooper, unknown, Doctoroff)

Food I made

Scones, banana bread, mushed cookies I made

I have been too busy doing the following things to blog this week

1. Sewing sock monkeys

2. Pumping iron

3. Grocery shopping

4. Cleaning up mouse shit

5. Calling my landlord in an attempt to make an exterminator come

6. Watching the History Channel special about the Presidents–I have come to love Jimmy Carter…you can too

7. Going to museums

8. Celebrating Chinese New Year

9. Saying good bye to various Julias going to India

10. Getting rid of my stuff

11. Having dreams that I’m giving birth

12. SIDE NOTE: Vogl had a dream that she put ear muffs on her sandwich–BRILLIANT!!!

13. This week has been perplexing because I have become more interested in the presidents than SVU.  I don’t really know who I am anymore.

14. Writing letters

15. Eating gross stir fry I made

16. Going to the sewing store

17. reuniting with my Mary Elizabeth

Revised FDR

After more of the FDR special, I am upset.

He was racist and had an affair. I hate FDR. He is definitely not hella tight.

Even though this FDR special is on very late, it is one of the best shows I have ever seen. I might even say it’s better than SVU.