I want to know who you are

If you are reading my blog, please leave a comment with your name.  I am trying to get information for funders.  YES.

COURTNEY COOPER

Things I like about Courtney:

1. Her stuffed animal making ability.

2. The way she gives me her clothes.

3. Her CRAZIX eyes.

4. HER CRAZIX hair.

5. Her ability to drive. We took driver’s ed together and look where she is now!

6. Her close proximity to Dolores Park.

7. The way she picks me up from the airport.

8. Her brother.

9. The store she runs at 40 21st ave. It is such a great store.

10. Her ability to care about crossword puzzles that my mom is doing.

11. Her dancing skillz.

12. Her drawing skillz.

13. Am I totally creepy yet?

14. Her ability to calm me down during a scary episode of Law and Order.

15. Her taste in movies.

THAT IS ALL. AN ODE TO CCCCCOURTNEY.

16 Handles

Today I ventured to frozen yogurt place in the East Village with Julie and Gina.  It has 16 flavors of yogurt and unlimited toppings.  You serve yourself and then pay based on weight.  It seems like a good idea.  It really is.  But some people, i.e. me, are not very good at moderation.  I chose mint and cookies and cream yogurt with peanut butter cup pieces, mochi, and chocolate chips.  This is a horrible combination.  I came out of the shop with a headache and a sick feeling in my gut.  GROSS.

Crazy Trainer at the Gym!! CRAZIX!

Today I went to a class at my new gym.  My new gym is 15.00 dollars a month.  Yes, it’s true.  The class was called “All in One,” which doesn’t really make sense or inspire me, but I went because it was happening and I was there.  The trainer was this odd woman who was wearing tan leggings that had ugly cut-outs on the sides.  When you didn’t seem to be going fast enough, or really going at all, she glared at you or gave you an exasperated look.  I don’t think that is helpful.  I don’t think she should be allowed to train women at the Lucille Roberts gym on Fulton St.  NO MORE CRAZY WOMAN.  She mostly picked on really fat women who were too tired to do her stupid workout.

Today Katie took me to a restaurant called Macarone.  It was French.  The people there were actually French.  For a minute, I thought, “Maybe I am in France, not in Midtown.  Maybe I have escaped.”  But when we walked outside, the tourists were there, the fabric was there, the bike messengers were there.  There were no traces of France.

BELIZE and BAMA!

I am going on a journey to BELIZE.  As Julia Vogl said, Belize it.  Don’t stop belizeing. HAHHAHAH.  The list goes on.  The ticket was only 144.00!! YAY airplanes.

I saw 3 rats today running around near garbge.  They are so fucking predicatable.  They are always running around near garbage. They would totally lose their spot if they were on network television.  I hate them!  I never saw ANY rats before I came here.  If I were the mayor, I wouldn’t clean up crime, I would literally clean shit up.  NO MORE RATS, NO MORE RACOONS, NO MORE MICE. Exterminate the hell out of NY.  That would be my platform.  Bloomberg, you might want another term.  WATCH OUT FOR THIS DOCTOROFF!

Today I left my computer on and put it in my backpack and it kept my back warm while I was walking around.  YAY!

Revised blog winners list (in no particular order):

-Molly

-Anna

-John

-Mary Elizabeth

-Benjamix

-Kari

-Lissa

-Dan Keeney? I don’t know.  He has been commenting a lot to promote the East Coast.  I don’t know if he actually reads the blog or just really likes this coast.  He’s from Vermont, though, which is much prettier than NY.  I don’t think he understands how ugly it is here.

-Mica

-Richard Doctoroff?  I don’t think so.  He prefers the MLB site and the Red Sox site.  Well, sorry dad, the Red Sox are DONE for the year, so you can read my blog now.

-Bears in the woods?  Yes, probably.  They don’t have much else to do.

MOUSE IN THE HOUSE!!!

Yesterday there was a mouse in one of my mouse traps.  It horrified me, but Rachael is out of town so I had to deal with it myself.  AGGGHHH.  I put it in a box and threw the box away outside.  When the mouse was in the box, I swear it was moving.  What is wrong with this city?!  It’s a JUNGLE.

I just read a book called Chew on This by the author of Fast Food Nation.  I think the book was meant for a younger audience, but I appreciated that.  I kind of feel like I am middle school anyway.  I think I could pass for twelve.

Blog winners (the people who I think read my blog the most):

1. Benn and Mary Liz–tied for first, my reader numbers have gone down since they went camping

2. Lissa Matross, my mom

3. Kari

4. John?

If you read my blog a lot, please comment and add yourself to the blog winners.

Why I HATE Strand

1. The aisles are too narrow and people linger for too long so it’s hard to see anything.

2. The library is free and Strand isn’t.

3. Everyone who goes there thinks they’re such hot shit.  They aren’t.  They don’t even realize that bookstores in SF are better.  Examples: Green Apple Books; Cover to Cover (I don’t even like Cover to Cover now that it moved but it used to be good and it’s still better than Stand.)

4. I hate those bags.  They are so stupid.  It’s like, oh, I’m from NY.  Oh, I went to NY.  Oh, I love books.  Oh, really?  Doesn’t everyone?

5. The shelves are too high.  You can’t see anything.  It is HORRIBLE for browsing.

6. Bookstores that have lots of hype are hardly bookstores, they’re tourist attractions.

SCARY animals on the Upper West Side!! AGHHH!

Last night I was walking on 91st to a lovely SUKKOT dinner and I saw a FAT RAT running around on the sidewalk.  I hate rats.  It was totally disgusting.  Shouldn’t there be less rats uptown?  Shouldn’t they have the dignity to come out after dinner?

Then when I was leaving the dinner party I was walking on the other side of the street and there was a 40 lb raccoon scaling a fence.  I was so afraid that it was going to bite me that I screamed and then I walked in the middle of the street.

The Upper West Side is a horrible vermin habitat.  I don’t recommend EVER going there.

MY WEDDING!!!

This is me.  ENJOY!

BLOOD ON THE FLOOR

Today during lunch I got a bloody nose and had to spend 15 minutes in the Thai Select bathroom trying to make it stop. I felt like I was in horror movie because I had blood all over my teeth.  I was worried that might die right there in Thai Select and that Gina would have to carry me back to the office.  SHIT!

McCain is snorting a lot.  What would happen if he got a bloody nose during the debate?!  That would make him lose the election.  He is a loser anyway.