The lovely Julia Vogl wanted to write a guest entry for my blog. She is a 4th of July baby! FIREWORKS AND DC! YAY. Except for the fact that everyone BLOWS HER OFF. FUCK THEM. Here is why Julia hates having her birthday on the 4th of July:
1) Everyone see’s it as an opportunity to go away [to lame places like Long Island and Cape Cod]
2) People get married and have parties, so people can’t come to my party
3) People think that holidays need to be spent with family over friends [bros before hos, right?]
4) People overbook their time, because they think they have more time then they do, and then they don’t get to do what they really want to do like come to my party
JULIA DOCTOROFF’S REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD GO TO VOGL’S PARTY:
1) She is a GREAT DANCER, so much that she often makes you dance when you don’t want to. Sometimes I feel assaulted by her dancing, but like in a nice way.
2) She often provides odd food like pizza, bagels, or candy.
3) She always compliments people–I never come away from talking to her feeling like shit. A lot of people I talk to DO make me feel this way. Right on, Vogl.
4) She talks a lot, so you never feel like you have to talk that much.
5) She’s a lightweight so you won’t have to buy her too many drinks. CHEAP PRESENT!
6) She is a first generation American, so she’s like the IDEAL person to have a 4th of July birthday, and this I think is somewhat hipster and indie. Like, OMG she’s totally first generation. Shit.
7) She lives with ANOTHER JULIA. People named Julia know how to party. And Vogl and Schwarz can hold their liquor a hell of a lot better than I can.
April 10, 2008 at 5:30 pm