When I lived in Old B I used to take a 4 hour long nap every Friday afternoon after lunch. I would wake up at 6:20 when people were beginning filter in to eat pizza and drink beer. I could hear them! They were so loud.
One Friday I went to happy hour at the Feve and got so drunk that I agreed to buy some high school boys 40s. I went into Gibson’s and pulled four 40s out of the fridge. They were hard to carry. Old man Gibson said, “You must be thirsty.” I smiled. I was already shitfaced. Then I proceeded to go to Shabbat to inhale chicken and kugel. I was really overwhelmed with homework and the stress of how competititve everyone was. It was just exhausting. I had to kick back on Fridays. I wouldn’t have made it otherwise. Oberlin was so cutthroat! Definitely the Harvard of the Midwest. SHIT!
Benn said that my blog is “mordant social commentary.” I didn’t know what that meant. Benn likes to use words I don’t know. He is such an EDUCATOR. Wow, he should join Teach For America. He is so understanding. He said HE didn’t know what it meant. He looked it up and it means “sharp, biting, sarcastic.” That is true. I am those things.
Benn is “a big sesquipedalian douche.” At least that’s what he said. You can look that up! That is BENN!
Today there were all these free snacks at my work. I took about 30 granola bars and put them in my desk. I was so pleased about it. I don’t even think I can eat that many. WHO KNOWS? Maybe I will challenge myself. Granola CONTEST. CONTESTANTS: JULIX!
Last night I jumped on some trash in my neighborhood with Gillian and Jen. It was paper shredder trash. IT ROCKED. It was the best time I ever had on the UES, but that’s not saying much.
March 28, 2008 at 9:13 pm
“I loved this blog so much I just vomited out of sheer excitement”
-Sonny Porco; Whistler Herald-Tribune