Gross Day

I couldn’t open my eyes today–for real. At first I thought I was dreaming and then I realized they were full of gunk and it was pasting them together. Lovely. Every Jewish’s girl’s dream.

I then proceeded to call doctor’s offices. I hate doctors. I wish I had some friends who were doctors. I want someone to just prescribe me shit. I do not want to go to doctors. I think they are bullshit. My mom was sleeping when I called her to complain. Apprently she got the day off for Chinese New Year. I wish I had the day off.

I went a walk in doctors office called “DOCS” at Beth Israel. It was kind of unprofessional. For example, the man who took my pulse was wearing a Dickies shirt and his chest hair was coming out of the top. It was gross. I wanted to say, “Don’t touch my arm. Does it even matter if I have a pulse?”

The doctor asked me what was wrong and I told her I thought I had pink eye. She didn’t even really look at my eye. Then I told her I also wanted some migraine medicine. She said I had to see a neurologist. I said I used to take migraine medicine. “What kind?” she asked. I said I didn’t remember, but could she name some medicines? “Imitrex?” she asked. That was the one. Two for one!

My pharmacy person and I are friends. His name is Tal. He is kind of harsh but I go there so much that I think he likes me now. I always tell him to have a “really good day.” He likes that, I think. Maybe Tal and I will get married. He can probably hook me up with all the medicine I need. I probably won’t even need health insurance. Tal is my in. I need Tal.

People are banging drums outside my window. At first I thought it was homeless people banging buckets. But then I remembered that there are no homeless people on my street and that it’s Chinese New Year. Smart.