New aspirations

1. to be in the NYtimes

2. to be a senator

3. to hang out with the Obamas, incl Bo, the best Obama

4. to be the White House chef

I think I’m moving to DC!  I am dreaming big. I mean, Bo has found his way to the inner circle…I can too.

In other news, I think it would be really fun to be the White House horticuluralist–he gets to walk Bo.  Bo has already been on the cover of the New Yorker.  Bo has almost done everything I want to do and he’s a puppy.  I read an article about whether Bo knows he’s the president’s dog.  The dog people thought that he does and the science people thought that he doesn’t.  I think Bo is clueless.  I think it would be really funny if we did a Portugese Water Dog version of the movie Clueless. I think Bo would be Cher.  Maybe Clinton’s cat Socks (that I learned today was given away because it was bad) could be Dion.  I don’t know!  Clinton gave Socks to his secretary (Betty Currie, who was involved with the Lewinsky scandal) and he later died.  He didn’t think Socks was good enough for life outside the White House.  That’s kind of like people that break up after college.  “Socks, I just think things will be different when I’m not President.”  What was Socks supposed to do?  I feel really sad for Socks.  I think he probably died of sadness.

I feel sorry for Obama for liking mustard.  That is such a wimp thing to get on your burger–just mustard.  LOSER.  Bo would get ketchup.

Bo is the mascot of my blog.  I would honestly MUCH RATHER hang out with Bo than Barack.  Bo loves gay marriage and he isn’t afraid to admit it.  Actually, now that I think about it, I think Bo IS gay.  He said that the reason he was adopted now was because RuPaul’s Drag Race ended and he could finally focus on something new.

Someone thought I had swine flu!

Today I was on the bus and I started sneezing.  The guy who was sitting next to me got up to sit in an empty seat.  I am pretty sure he thought I had swine flu.

I have started watching American Idol with my m0m.  Yes, truth.  I really like Adam and I googled “Adam gay” and this came up.

I don’t know how I feel about Oprah giving away free KFC.  Even though it’s grilled, it’s still KFC, Oprah.

It has been really icky out here.  I don’t like it when there’s no sun.

My teeth

Apologies

Dear blog readers,

I am sorry for not posting recently.  You can think of that as a preview for the summer when I will be unable to post while in Yosemite.

My room in my parents’ house is now maritime blue.  It is quite exciting.  Spray painted art is not really meant for the bedroom (that’s what was there before.)

Hills are the most difficult part of being back here.  Courtney lives a 10 minute walk away, yet there are many hills on the way there and it’s hard to want to walk on hills.  AGH.  VERY FRUSTRATING.

Today I am going to a knitting group with Nina.  I am going to work on sock monkeys.  YAY!

My dad told me I was lazy today because I slept for 11 hours.  I think of that as blessed, not lazy.

For the Gold Rush weekends at my camp, I have to dress up in 1850s style.  I think the only women around then were whores–so that might be appropriate for the program and it’s 4th grade audience.

Pomelo

Conversation with my dad, Doc:

Julix: Do you you want to go to Pomelo [for dinner]?

Doc: I don’t want to eat any vegan vegetable food.

When we get to the burger place:

Doc: Do they have beer?

Julix: No.

Since when did my dad become a bro?

Dog Woman

Today there was a really annoyed middle aged woman with bouncy hair at my gym.  She walked her dog through the gym (what if people were allergic?!) and then tied him near the back door of the gym.  Then she proceeded to yell things at him (Badger) across the gym.  HOW ANNOYING.  I sometimes hate people in Noe Valley.  I have probably lived here for longer than that woman anyway.

In other news, I am probably the most ripped person at my gym.  After I went to the gym, I picked up a car and threw it at Starbucks.  I did this because I like Starbucks.  I actually really do.  My favorite thing there is a tall soy chai latte extra hot.  I know this sounds prententious, but it isn’t.  You have to say extra hot or they will make it LUKE WARM.  Even when you ask for extra hot it is usually luke warm anyways.  LAME.  TRY HARDER, STARBUCKS.

Bell Market is closed which means there is no place to buy groceries here.  Soon it will be a Whole Foods.  I am sort of excited about this.  I think this post is sort of my way of coming out as a yuppie.  I hope that’s ok with you.

Raisin Factory

My dad has been making his own raisins and he made me taste one.  Very delicious, yet odd.  What wonderful things you learn when you move home.

I went to trivia at Elephant and Castle last night.  We did not win.  I am not good at trivia.  I think my dad would rock at it.  I think I will bring him next time.  I don’t think he will be able to hear though, so I will have to dictate to him.  It will be fine.  My hearing will be my contribution.

Dim Sum and Rain

Today as I was on my way to have dim sum with my mom’s friend Christine, I bought a 4 dollar umbrella which promptly broke.  Bad.

I have decided that dim sum, or tea lunch, is an ideal meal.  Small portions of all sorts of good things.  It’s kind of like men–you don’t really want to spend that much time with them, but they are good to be with for about 5 minutes.  I wouldn’t want to order a whole entree, but a small portion suffices.

I am sick of it raining on my last Saturday in NY.  It’s like one final fuck you from NY to me.  Thanks, NY, love you too.

Remember when you used to have a big Friends poster in your room?

My cousin Jane just said this to me.  Yes, it’s true.  I thought it was worth sharing that I used to love Friends.  I am sort of ashamed now.  I wonder if that’s why I moved to NY.

O Pathmark, why do I hate thee?

I went to pathmark and was SO FRUSTRATED by the craziness that I put  down my basket and left.

Things I hate about Pathmark:

-people are unhelpful

-there is no order to the way people wait in line

-there is no way to just go in and go out–you have to be there forever

-people who work there are stupid

I wish Pathmark would close and be replaced by something better–like my food co-op.